Have a "last forever" erection
Last week we wondered whether she could have a ‘no hands’ orgasm. This week it’s his turn! This week, we’re wondering whether a man can go on and on (and on) for hours without climaxing? And if so, can you do it? Once again, the answer is yes, yes, yes!
Here’s the deal.
- First, consider having one climax - either by yourself or by letting your partner help you – before you have intercourse. Sure, this won’t work if you’re a ‘one time’ man. But the way male physiology works, climaxing once will hold you back from climaxing again.
- Make a shift in the way you approach sex. Instead of urging yourself on and going for your orgasm whatever, concentrate on the here-and-now sensation, what you’re feeling in your body. That’s not just in your genitals, but all over – from the top of your head to the tip of your toes. Focusing on sensation rather than trying to achieve climax will not only slow you down – it’ll also make the journey that much more enjoyable.
- Experiment with sex moves to find out which ones hold you back. Usually, this means going more slowly and making your thrusts more shallow. But there may be a particular move that regularly tips you over the edge – perhaps grinding as you enter. Or there may be a particular something your partner does that gets you to climax – perhaps a way of clenching her vaginal muscles. It’s not rocket science, but only use those moves that hold you back – and avoid the ones that drive you forward.
- Stop and start. So thrust until you’re on the point of coming… then stop and let your erection subside… then thrust again... then stop again. This might take some practice – it’s such a temptation to simply go for it – but will not only delay your orgasm when you’re making love, but will also give you a stronger climax when it happens.
- Neat trick number one. Use your pc muscles (they’re the ones that you use to stop the flow when you’re urinating) when you’re approaching orgasm. Pulling up then holding that ‘pull’ can put your orgasm reflex on hold.
- Neat trick number two - squeeze. You (or your partner) hold with two fingers and thumb just below the head of your penis, then press. That’ll automatically reduce your erection and hold your climax back.
- Finally, if rather than wanting to last even longer, you feel you come very quickly, then over a number of weeks, practice noticing what the signals are that happen well *before* you climax. Once you’ve noticed those, you’ll find it much easier to alter your movements at that point and hold back. If you find it difficult to make that alteration, you may need to get the help of a sex therapist. Relate (www.relate.org.uk) or the British Association of Relationships and Sexuality (www.basrt.org.uk) can help
PS: don’t even think of using one of those anaethetising gels; they may work short-term but they won’t help you learn to keep going. Plus if you don’t use the gel *inside* a condom, it’ll anaethetise her too. So she’ll be left wondering what all the fuss is about...