Masturbation: Should You Do It?
Yes, some say it’s a sin, or that it makes you go blind – or that it’s a betrayal of your beloved if you give yourself pleasure.
But that’s not what the research says. All the studies say that, for her in particular, pleasing yourself has benefits. Women who masturbate are more likely to orgasm because they’ve learned how, and more likely to get high ‘good in bed’ marks from their partner. Men who masturbate also learn – how to hold back and prolong lovemaking. If either gender go to a sex therapist for help, often the first thing they’ll be encouraged to do is to – yes – learn how to pleasure themselves.
If you feel uncomfortable about the idea, of course it’s not compulsory. But if you’ve never done and would like to try – then go ahead. Find yourself a quiet, warm, private place; pile on the lube and simply touch… wherever feels good for you, face, arms, breasts and then between your legs. There are no right or wrong ways – just do whatever turns you on, then do it more, then experiment – with kinds of touch, rhythms, pressure.
Your next step might be to get your beloved to watch – they’ll find it a turn on plus they’ll learn more about what you like in bed. Your next step might be to do it together – perhaps as a warm up to intercourse, perhaps as a finale after you’ve climaxed through intercourse. Then add in a sex toy or two – try masturbating with a vibrator (for him and her) or a merkin (for him).
A final note… If your partner pleasures themselves and you’re not happy, then of course that’s your right. But if you’re not happy because you feel they’re betraying you – or that they’re only masturbating because you don’t feel them – then you’re wrong! Most people self-pleasure not because they’re dissatisfied with partner sex, but as something entirely different… a straightforward pleasure. So try to be tolerant – or ask to join in!