Loose lips let slip slips
The Meteorological Office has been stung by the criticisms that greeted their barbeque summer and mild winter predictions which were followed by a wash out and a deep freeze, respectively. The reason that they got it so completely wrong, they said, is that predicting the weather is hard. I am not making that up. They will not be caught out like that again though, and have made sure that there will be no future long range weather forecast mishaps. They have done this by scrapping all future long range weather forecasts. By this method they can maintain a one hundred per cent accuracy record, in the sense that only by not saying anything, can they be sure not to make any mistakes. A lesson that political leaders would do well to heed.
Diddy David Cameron made the mistake of opening his mouth in Wales this week, a place where he enjoys less popularity than the Ebola virus. “It’s all Labour waste and broken Britain”, he opined, and his poll rating slipped another notch with every syllable he uttered. No matter how faux casual and inclusive he tries to appear, the Bryns and Glynns of the valleys just see a man who would toss a miner on the fire to keep the mansion in heat.
His opposite number also went where he should fear to tread. Right after putting the blame for the lack of equipment that has lead to so many deaths of our troops in the Middle East on the army, Darth Gordon went to see the army in the Middle East. Every sapper with sand in his boots coughed up his reconstituted meat-like meal at the nerve of that pre-election move.
They're both crazy. In Wales, Cameron couldn’t be less liked if he was spit roasting a pit pony. In the Army, Brown couldn’t be less trusted if he was a roadside bomb. Even the Met. Office could have predicted that.