This week, the world’s news was dominated by a fun loving grey haired old lady from Coventry, or the most evil person since Hitler, depending on your point of view. Not since Susan Boyle lit up our lives has so much attention been paid to a YouTube clip of a British woman going about her business. Unlike Subo, however, Mary Bale, the cat-bin lady, will not be repeating her feat for the amusement of the Pope.
Pausing to stroke an unsuspecting pet cat, the 45 year old looked furtively about before popping the pussy in a wheelie bin, like she was discarding an apple core, in full view of a CCTV camera, and therefore the world. The most shocking thing about this story is that she is apparently just 45 - what has she done to herself? Perhaps she has worried herself grey, in which case her colour won’t be coming back any time soon. People with access to the internet have expressed their feelings on the topic from behind the cloak of anonymity and it is fair to say that they have not been, on the whole, supportive. “Kill the witch” says one, “hanging’s too good for ‘er”, being the general theme. For her part, Ms Bale can’t understand what the fuss is all about, explaining that it is just a cat, which is just the sort of attitude that let the Nazis cut a swathe through Europe during the Second World War. Or at least I think that’s what some deranged foamer wrote on a message board, and if they didn’t, then it’s just a matter of time.
The cat at the centre of the storm is lying low, under a bush in its owner’s front garden and is working on a book of the encounter called “Who turned the lights out? When old ladies go bad”. The authorities are patrolling the area to keep the rampaging hordes from ripping Mary’s arms off and the council have said that while they are not angry, they are disappointed but will not be seeking a prosecution as she has not transgressed any refuse collection mandates, but she is warned not to mix pets and paper in the same receptacle.