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Thursday 25th August 2016
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Odder and Odderer.

Posted by Nick Abbot on June 10, 2014 at 15:49PM


It's an odd world, there's no denying.

I can not claim to have great knowledge in this regard but I would expect that a flasher ploughs his particular and peculiar furrow in order to impress his spectator with the magnificence of his manliness.

If a gentleman leaves his abode, all coat and no trousers, he does so, presumably, to spark a feeling of awe in those he selects to view his outstanding personal achievement. I'm guessing that when he read about his exploits in the local paper, what he did not have in mind was to see himself referred to as the Tiny Willy Flasher.

The Cambridge News reports that a local male, riding a bike, has targeted women in the area and exposed himself to them on what may be numerous occasions. One such lady described a person with a balaclava on and a scarf puled round his head. She said he was short and skinny and had a “little willy”. I imagine that is partly the reason for the disguise. He wants to dissociate himself from his underwhelming undercarriage. An easier method might be not to air it for public demonstration in the first place, but there's nowt so queer as folk.

The woman, who the paper describes as a victim, appeared somewhat unperturbed and just a little bit bemused. She said she just didn't see how someone could get a kick out of doing that.

I bet that when he read the coverage of his unimpressive unveiling, whatever kick he did get was somewhat mitigated by the disappointment of the ridicule he had attracted. I further bet that laughter was not the response he was seeking, but that it might cure him of the habit pretty damn quick.

Meanwhile, much laughter from some quarters on the idyllic island of Tenerife (their motto: it was more idyllic before the Brits started holidaying here). An employee at the Loro Park Zoo dressed as a gorilla, as part of a mock emergency routine, to test the park's response in the event of an escaped animal. As it turns out, the park's response was uncompromising and severe, especially for the worker in question.

A zoo vet, who had only been in the job for two months, and was yet to attend the class on spotting the difference between a man in a gorilla suit and an actual gorilla, responded to an alarm raised by a panicked member of the public, who was also not in on the mock escape plan.

Our veterinary hero rushed to the scene with a dart gun and proceeded to shoot the disguised employee with enough tranquillizer to knock out a beast the size of a JCB.

The man in the suit failed to see the funny side, but may do when he regains consciousness.

If he had been drunk, it might have been better for him. Scientists at the University of Chicago have determined that showing up to A & E in a state of alcoholic inebriation is better for your outcome than if you are stone cold sober.

They tested the blood alcohol level in patients presenting emergencies and noted that the more drunk they were, the better their prospect of avoiding medical complications, up to and including death. The scientists said that intoxication had a substantial protective effect.

Booze made them safer, despite the fact that it was probably the drink that put them in hospital in the first place.

Like I said, odd.