Steve Allen brings you the latest from the newspapers as you wake up.
29 April 2017, 20:56
Boris “Bozo of the FO” Johnson, was discussing Jeremy “Jezza” Corbyn and warned voters against being lulled into thinking the Labour leader is a 'benign Islingtonian herbivore' because of his 'meandering and nonsensical' public performances.
That was Boris Johnson accusing someone of being meandering and nonsensical.
I shall send Boris a compilation video of his public appearances. "Meandering and nonsensical" pretty much defines them.
Labour accused him of 'demeaning' his role as Foreign Secretary.
I think Mrs M demeaned the role of Foreign Secretary when she selected Boris for the job.
He is our top diplomat. Is there anything in his past that would give you pause to award him such a position? Apart from everything you have ever heard him say or do?
Bozo called Jezza a "mugwump", which, for an insult, is as daft as Johnson's effortfully dishevelled appearance.
A mugwump is someone who remains aloof or independent from party politics
Say what you like about Jeremy Corbyn, he's not exactly that.
Boris criticised Corbyn's record on security issues, his lukewarm support for Nato, his opposition to Trident, and his refusal to countenance ever using Britain's nuclear deterrent.
Unfortunately, it is only a deterrent if you are dealing with sane opposition. No sane person would launch a nuclear attack, so it is as good as useless.
The person who will start a nuclear war will be clearly insane, so it is not much of a deterrent.
This is a country that is cancelling people's knee, hip and eye operations, closing schools early, not bothering to investigate crimes and has a backlog in the courts that stretches to the moon and back, all for lack of money.
For us simultaneously to be spending £205bn (according to the CND), or £167bn (according to Reuters) on the best methods of mass killing is, at the very least, morally questionable.
The people who have led us in recent years have all banged on about their faith and how they are guided by the Lord.
Well, I wonder what Jesus would do...help the sick or invest in ways of killing them?
Those in government habitually claim to be on the side of good and to be guided by their religion. Just curious, as a non-believer, what do they think God would want in a toss-up between buying nuclear bombs, or saving the sight of those going blind?
Bozo suggested Jezza was more interested in 'virtue-signalling' than standing up for Britain's interests.
Apparently, Britain's interests are selling weapons of mass destruction to foreign dictators, shaking the hand of confessed serial killer Rodrigo Duterte of the Philippines in the hope of extracting some money, looking the other way when the Saudis bomb hospitals and schools with the weapons we sell them, and, according to Transparency International, providing the world's number one haven for the stolen money of the international criminal super rich.
Those are supposedly in Britain's interests.
Or rather, the interests of the vanishingly small number of people who profit the most from such enterprises.
Theresa May appeared uncomfortable when questioned about the appropriateness of Mr Johnson’s creative use of language when referring to the leader of the Labour Party. She later said he was ‘doing a great job as Foreign Secretary’.
He's making the job of Foreign Secretary great again.
He should get a hat made