Orange harbinger of doom

9 July 2017, 01:18 | Updated: 9 July 2017, 01:30

trump

Mrs May attended the G20 summit and our helpful and supportive press made a point of describing her cutting an out of place and forlorn figure on the world stage.

This is because, after Brexit, Britain has been demoted from the top table, despite us having nukes and a new warship and everything.

Donald Trump was also there, but outside of the states that he holds his rallies in, he is regarded as a big orange gorilla of limited intelligence that you have to pacify with flattery or he might get angry and pull your arms off.

That left the field wide open for the rock star politicians. It was the Canadian Justin Trudeau and French Emanuel Macron show, with a German Angela Merkel sandwich filling.

Donald Trump doesn't like shade, however, so he tried to steal the limelight with one of his apocalyptic speeches about everything being a disaster, which he read out in Poland.

He warned that the future of Western civilisation is at stake and the West must decide if it has the ‘will to survive’.

Er ist ein Buzzkill.

He lashed out at hostile forces, ranging from Islamic terrorism to Russia and the breakfast show hosts on CNN.

When he said Russia was a hostile force, he winked so hard he sprained his forehead.

The whole speech was greeted with enthusiasm bordering on ecstasy by his Polish audience.

During his address, he delighted in taking long pauses as he listened to chants of ‘Donald Trump’.

It is his favourite sound.

The reason the crowd was so appreciative was that the supportive Polish authorities had bused-in large numbers of people who were given US flags and banners and instructed to cheer.

Posters and adverts were put up by the Polish government to encourage people to cram the square where the event was to take place.

Trump’s people knew that their man was to be showered with praise. It is one of the things that Trump likes to be showered with the most.

He basked in the attention and could not resist glorying in it before it had even happened when he boasted about the size of the crowd he was about to thrill with his talk of imminent Armageddon.

"I hear we have a big crowd", he said, before taking to the stage.

He's still on about crowd size.

I don't think we need Dr Freud to analyse that.