Friday night is all about your life, your stories, your problems and often, your solutions. This week, Susan Quilliam joined me once again in the studio and we spoke to Dave who has become increasingly worried about the size of his penis over the last few years. Steven described an emotional story of his arranged marriage failing and reached out for advice on how to salvage the relationship. Suzie called and despite a clearly exciting sex life was upset that she had still not yet been introduced to her partner’s children. We also talked to Helen broke up with her last long term girlfriend of almost 3 years not too long ago and despite her significant baking skills was struggling to find a new lover.
To hear any or all of tonight’s show again – CLICK HERE
I love this country for the ridiculous number of crazy customs and traditions we have. Some are wonderful, some less so. ‘Kissing Friday’ falls on the Friday after Ash Wednesday and was observed until the 1940s. On this day, boys were supposed to be allowed to demand a kiss from any girl without fear of retribution. If they failed to oblige, then they received a pinch on the bum. Whilst this may have been seen once upon a time as acceptable, these days it is quite rightly deemed as sexual assault!
Nevertheless, it led us on to a discussion about kissing. When it comes to the art of seduction, there is truly nothing worse than a bad kisser, so this week I asked Susan to reveal the secrets of the perfect kiss in her ‘Sex Tip of the Week’…
TODAY IS…. KISSING FRIDAY!
So today’s Sex Tip is, not surprisingly, all about kissing. What makes a perfect kiss? We reckon it’s down to 7 things.
1: Perfect moment.
Not when your or your partner are busy, distracted or in a rush. The perfect kiss needs time and space. So yes when you’re heading for nookie, but also… when you’re winding down… when you’ve had a success… when you’re marking a special anniversary…when you’re just about to go to sleep. Or, when you’re in a particularly romantic setting; one friend of mine had her first kiss with her partner and they both opened their eyes afterwards to find it had started snowing… very Richard Curtis.
2: Perfect lead in
Make long deep eye contact. Then draw each other closer, perhaps arms all the way round, or one hand behind each other’s head. Sense the rise and fall of each other’s breath to get into total synchrony, and give yourselves time to tune into every single movement the other makes. Then slow all the way down to keep the excitement, the suspense as you imagine what’s going to happen next.
3: Perfect pressure
Yes, there’s always room for a heavy smacker. But the perfect kiss usually starts light. Nerves are so near the surface of your lips that even the slightest touch will arouse – and those nerves also have a direct link with your genitals, so that touch will reflect all the way down your body. You can then keep going with light touches to tease – or increase the pressure gradually as you get more and more aroused.
4: Perfect communication
Once you’ve first touched, actually, there are no rules. When it comes to what movement, what rhythm, what speed, there’s no set pattern that works with every partner and on every occasion. The secret is to respond to the other’s signals – if they seem to want to speed up, why not go with that? If they seem to want to pause for a heartbeat, why not follow? Kissing is a two-way conversation, with one of you offering a move and the other accepting, then making their own suggestion.
5: Perfect tongues
No, no, no – don’t thrust straight in, but wait until you’re sure you’re both ready! When you’re are ready, your mouths will naturally open slightly (just as other parts of one’s anatomy may ease open when they are ready to accept a penis!) Wait for that moment before you penetrate... after that, slow entwining, curious exploring, tongue fights; leading up to the gentle pumping that reflects what’s soon going to happen below.
6: Perfect teeth
Don’t forget that kisses can involve teeth too - the Kama Sutra suggests that gentle biting is one of the most erotic moves. Take it gently unless you know your lover likes it otherwise – blood vessels are very near the surface of lips, tongue and mouth. So nibble, don’t nip.
7: Perfect ending
When you sense that the kiss is coming to an end - one of you starts to shift away, or both of you run out of breath – don’t simply stop and pull part. Disengage as gently and slowly as you engaged, draw back and gaze into each other’s eyes. Show how much you enjoyed it – with a smile, a loving word, a cuddle… or of course, by diving back in for another kiss.
Susan is back with me next Friday at 10pm.
After midnight we talked about condoms. I was dismayed yet unsurprised to read this week that following a study done by the University of Kentucky men are continuing to struggle with poorly fitting condoms. As a result men are twice as likely to remove condoms completely midway though their love making.
It’s one of those things that we’re simply expected to know about. One of those taboo subjects that is essential knowledge yet nobody seems to want to tell us about. There is some guidance in the sex education classes we receive at school but I don’t know about you, I remember that lesson as one full of sniggering and giggles but not much attention.
Every now and then I believe it’s worth while going back to basics and starting again from the beginning. I was joined by Ruth Gresty from Durex to give us a condom ‘Masterclass’ and we talked about how you feel about using them as part of your regular sex life.
Finally, this week saw some interesting revelations in Stella Magazine’s Sex Survey of 2010. Editor Anna Murphey joined me to talk through some of them including the political leader who made it to the top of the chart as the most ‘fanciable’!
Sex in the City will be back next Friday night from 10pm.
Jim
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Five Steps To – Successful Dating
Five Steps To – Driving Her Wild in Bed
Five Steps To – Driving Him Wild in Bed
Five Steps To – Getting the Job you want
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