Tonight we heard more of your stories and your problems. Susan Quilliam joined me once again to discuss the questions you raised in this week’s Open Lines. We spoke to Peter who was struggling to relate to his wife and his friends on an emotional level. Khan has suffered from premature ejaculation since the night he lost his virginity – his wedding night. Sally called to tell us that two very traumatic episodes in her life over the last 10 years are still dramatically effecting her current relationship. As always, your calls and emails were fascinating and often very moving.
There are lots of fantastic hidden extras on the LBC website available for you 24 hours a day to explore and enjoy. This week we launched the ‘Sex Tips Archive’ to add to that list. Browse through Susan’s extensive library of hints, tips and ideas to make your sex life more exciting. If you’re in two minds as to why you should bother, Susan explained in this week why spending some time and effort improving your sexual technique can work wonders…
WHY WORK ON YOUR SEX LIFE?
Surely sex comes naturally…surely the birds and the bees are instinctive… surely if you’ve got to try, then there’s something wrong?
Well no. On Sex in the City, we believe that there are lots of reasons to work on your sex life, lots of reasons to learn as much as you can as often as you can about what to do in the bedroom department. Here are some of our favourite motivations…
1: Maybe you’ve got a fantastic sex life. But why not make it better? Picking up new techniques, or learning how to add an extra twist to old ones, has to be a lovely – and loving – thing to do.
2: Or perhaps you’re new to sex, still learning the basics and wanting to get it right. Congratulations – it’s the folk who think they know it all who are the worst in the sack.
3: Even the couples who are instantly compatible sexually will change over time. As you get more experienced – or perhaps as things change with childbirth, the menopause or natural ageing – you needs will alter. You need to constantly check what your favourite moves are, regularly update yourself on how your partner’s favourite moves are different.
4: Sexual problems can creep up on you – whether that’s him not being able to get it up or her not being able to come off. The sooner you tackle such problems, the easier and more speedily you can sort them.
5: And remember that a good sex life will give you a longer life. Regular sex can help prevent heart attacks, ward off depression, and keep all your parts in working order! Use it or lose it!
6: Maybe you need a special move for a special occasion – her promotion, his birthday, your anniversary. So make sure you always have something new in your kitbag to delight, surprise or celebrate.
7: Sex is incredibly powerful – it actively creates a bond between partners, keeps you going through the bad times, makes the good times more memorable. So the more you can do to make it the best, the more likely you are to keep your relationship alive. Why do you think they call it ‘making love’?
All in all, then we deeply believe that regularly improving what you do in bed is one of the key things that you can do for yourself, for your lover, for your partnership. Which is why we include a Sex Tip in every single programme of Sex in the City (at just after 23.30, in fact).
And it’s why, as from this week, we’ve archived Sex Tips from way back, so that you can quickly and easily find the ones you want – to read them again and refresh your memory, or to read them if you missed them first time round.
Susan is back with me next Friday at 10pm. To access the archive – CLICK HERE
After Midnight I was joined by Psychosexual Councillor Sara Nasserzahdeh who told me about her new book, The Orgasm Answer Guide. It is packed with fascinating answers to 80 questions relating to the male and female orgasm.
For a period of my life I began to feel more than a little indifferent about sex and even masturbation. Admittedly my self esteem was low at the time and I didn’t feel great about myself but I began to wonder what the point of this incessant search for sex was all for. Why bother? I was happier with some good company, even if that was my own, a good book or a few drinks. For a good few years of my life my sex drive hit rock bottom.
I eventually realised that suppressing those desires was futile, particularly for a guy. It took time but I spent time learning about myself and my own sexual appetite. I learned to live with it and how it made me feel and I feel so much more balanced now that I’m not trying to be someone I’m clearly not.
Everyone’s sexual desire wavers from time to time but when it is strong, wouldn’t it be great to have passionate, exciting & fulfilling sex?
We also discussed the sexualisation of children. Dr Linda Papadopoulos has been talking in the news today about our children being increasingly exposed to sexual imagery. Whilst parents can attempt to control access to that kind of material at home by monitoring internet usage and which TV shows they watch, it is far tougher to censor what they see out and about.
We also heard from the co-founder of ‘Mumsnet’, Justine Roberts who agreed that in London in particular we are bombarded with these images and it is very difficult to avoid them. The potentially adverse effects they are having on this generation include distorting young people’s perceptions of themselves and who they ought to be. Trying to live up to these airbrushed images is simply impossible. It’s not just the models but the context of the photographs themselves. Many show women to be acting submissively and sexually available which is manifesting itself in many ways including young girls posting topless pictures of themselves on social networking websites, which is clearly crazy behaviour.
T o hear all or part of tonight’s show again – CLICK HERE
Sex in the City will be back next Friday night from 10pm.
Jim
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Five Steps To – Successful Dating
Five Steps To – Driving Her Wild in Bed
Five Steps To – Driving Him Wild in Bed
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