Sex in the City, Chloe's story and Susan's 48 hour foreplay

On the show this week we spoke to John whose wife cheated on him and he rebounded into a relationship with a girl 17 years younger than him. Annie was betrayed by the first man she met after a long break in relationships & Steve described how he fantasised about watching his girlfriend making love to another man, and then joining in. As always your stories and questions make the show and if you would like to send an email, this is the address: jim@lbc.co.uk
 
Susan’s Sex Tip Archive is roving to be a big hit on the website. To take a look this weekend and maybe pick up a few ideas, just CLICK HERE
 
This weekend Susan revealed why a weekend of holding off might just make your Sunday night something to remember…
 
48 HOUR FOREPLAY
 
So here’s our suggestion for this weekend. Why not spend from Friday to Sunday together and doing all the foreplay you possibly can… but not actually having an orgasm until the very, very last minute?
 
Question – why would you want to do that? Answer 1: because foreplay is wonderful for its own sake. Answer 2: because the climax at the end of those 48 hours could be the best you’ve ever had. For both her and him, lots of arousal but no release means that passion builds up (and up) and the end result, if properly handled, can mean a much stronger and longer orgasm. Here’s how…
 
1: Set up the weekend with some lovely scene-setting to suit both of you. Maybe buy in some delicious food and drink, maybe have the right kind of music and DVDs on hand. Of course, don’t forget the bath bubbles, the massage oil, the toys and the sex manuals for lots of ideas…
 
2: If you possibly can, spend the whole weekend naked, so you have absolute access to each other. Maybe take it in turns to each do a strip tease; but then, to keep the tension going, for at least an hour have a strict ‘hands-off’ policy of no touching, just looking.
 
3: When you do get together, tease. Rub up against each other then back off. Allow only tongues, no hands. Lie one of you on their front while the other rubs up and down their back with every part of their body. But for the moment, no genital action at all. 
 
4:  Then take it in turns to be blindfolded and move on to… massage, first one then the other… giving each other a tongue bath… feeding each other unexpected foods (strawberries, yoghurt, smoked salmon, olives… stroking with a feather/silk handkerchief/velvet scarf and trail it lightly. 
 
5: Ok, start in on each other in earnest – touching those particular erogenous zones that most turn you on. But again, go very gently, very slowly, and don’t rush things towards climax. 
 
6: And – this is the important bit – No Orgasms. If either of you comes near, then simply stop. Hold back, take a deep breath – of if you’re really, really near the edge, back off and go do something else. Read a book, take a cold shower… and don’t don’t, Don’t go off and do it yourself in the loo. That’s not only cheating, it also ruins the whole object of the exercise.
 
7: Yes, you’ll need to sleep a bit. If you think you’ll be tempted to jump each other during the night, then be strong – one of you should go on the sofa! But as soon as you wake, then start in again… the idea is to keep the arousal high as you possibly can for two whole days without tipping over the edge. 
 
8: As the forty-eight hours pass, it will get more and more difficult to hold back. But also be careful you don’t get so weary of not being able to come that some part of one or both of you just switches off. If so, then do something different – like eating or watching a romantic movie, going for a country walk) to let your bodies and minds get interested again. Only no-no is that you shouldn’t be mixing with/phoning/emailing other people – you need to keep the focus on the two of you and what you’re doing to each other.
 
9: As you near the end of your 48 hours, start planning the Big Climax. Decide which of you is going to go first… when you get really good at this, then you can aim for simultaneous, but for first time sessions, it’s best to take it in turns so that one of you can relax completely and just be in the moment. Then go, go, go… with whatever it takes,  your best possible moves to tip each other over the edge – whether that’s hand work, tongue work, anal work or the intercourse position that you know works every single time.  
 
10: Finally – helpful hint – leave at least three or four hours to recover. Because 48-hour foreplay will leave you not only physically exhausted, but sexually drained. Cuddling, snuggling, and simply sleeping – you’ll need it all before you’re ready to go back to real life. 
 
Susan is back with me next Friday at 10pm & to access the archive – CLICK HERE
 
After midnight this week we met Chloe. Having been born male and named Clive, Chloe has lived an incredibly traumatic life trying to come to terms with the feelings she had always harboured to be female. She dressed as a woman at every given opportunity, but that wasn’t enough. On 2 separate occasions, Clive attempted a home sex change operation to try to physically become Chloe.
 
I was extremely moved by her tragic situation and shocked at the lengths she had gone to in an attempt to become the woman she always felt she should be. What struck me most about her story however was how desperately Chloe just want to be accepted. Having said that, I don't think she blames other people for not understanding her situation.
 
There is a huge difference between our sex and our sexuality. Many people struggle to come to terms with what turns us on, or what our sexual preference might be. Far fewer of us struggle with the one core thing that defines so much of our life.
 
Being male or female is supposed to be one of nature's simple truths. 
The issue is black and white for many species, particularly humans who add to nature's handiwork by flinging the relevant colour clothes and gender defined toys at us from the moment we draw our first breath.
 
Whilst I believe, if we're honest with ourselves, it is easier to empathise with someone who has different sexual preferences to our own, I think it is considerably harder to comprehend issues of gender identity. 
 
If you, like Chloe, have discovered the grey area between male and female, I have found no organisation finer than Gires to help you understand what (if any) the next step might be for you. To visit their website, CLICK HERE
 
Finally tonight I was joined by Dr Ayan Panja and Frances Reid from Target Ovarian Cancer to reveal why so many women confuse Ovarian and Cervical cancer. 1/3 of women in London wrongly think that their smear test will reveal results for both types of cancer. The truth is it won’t. 
 
There are other symptoms to be looking for that every woman must be aware of. Thousands of women die unnecessarily every year because they were unaware of the true nature of their problem. There is a 90% survival rate amongst those women who catch this silent killer early so I would urge you to listen again to the interview to find out all you need to know or visit their website for more info – CLICK HERE
 
To hear all or part of tonight’s show again – CLICK HERE
 
Sex in the City will be back next Friday night from 10pm.
Jim
x
 
Jim’s range of Audiobooks is now available to download and listen to wherever you choose – on the Tube or bus, at home or in the car… Click on the links below to find out more. Titles include:
 
Five Steps To – Successful Dating
Five Steps To – Driving Her Wild in Bed
Five Steps To – Driving Him Wild in Bed
Five Steps To – Getting the Job you want
Five Steps To – Successful Weight Loss
Click here to download via iTunes 
 

Cick here to download via Audible.co.uk