During this week’s foray into the love-lives of Londoners, Susan and I spoke to Ian who was suffering with premature ejaculation following a traumatic episode in his life. Eva was considering a relationship with a man who was already involved & Julie revealed how for 20 years she had lived her life under her husbands rules and regulations and was completely frustrated by it.
I also spoke to Dr Lawrence Mascheranas, a consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist who clarified the advice released today about conceiving following miscarriage.
To listen to all or part of tonight’s show again – CLICK HERE
The holiday season is upon us and the opportunities for romance often increase in the sunshine. However, there are some important things to bear in mind when looking for love on foreign shores (sometimes quite literally!). So whilst you’re laying out your suntan lotion, swimwear and beach towel, make sure you print off a copy of this week’s Sex Tip in which Susan reveals the things you need to know about having sex on holiday…
If you haven’t already been on your hols, you’re probably going in the next few weeks… so this week’s sex tip’s all about how to make the absolute best of it.
1: Be prepared! Let’s get the key safety tip out of the way. Unless you’re with a long-term partner and you’ve both been tested, pack lots (and lots) of condoms – not only standard ones, but flavoured in case you want oral and heavy duty ones in case of anal. (But remember that any oil based lotion will eat through latex as quick as you can say ‘unplanned pregnancy!’
2: Be extra prepared. Not to overdo your baggage allowance, but it’s always nice to pack a few sex toys – a cock ring to support erections for him, a vibrator to guarantee orgasms for her, and lots and lots of lube. If you take them in your hand luggage and get searched, don’t panic. They’ve seen it all before. If you check your vibrator in, pack the batteries separately or they’ll have run down by the time you touch down. (If you forget the vibrator, remember the old trick of using an electric toothbrush with a new head.)
3: When you get settled into your apartment/hotel, check out the facilities. Hotel rooms are wonderful for firm beds (for her on top sex), interesting chairs (for sitting sex) , firm shower attachments (for tying one of you up), full length mirrors – and yes, hotel designers do often think ahead and place them where you’ll be able to use them erotically. Plus, don’t forget that hotel rooms in particular are usually built soundproof!
4: Scout out the location too. Resorts mean beaches for late night swimming (though be aware that safe sex isn’t really possible in water). Country breaks have hedges to hide behind and trees to back each other up against steer clear of cows who can get startled and attack. City breaks mean art galleries and museums – no, full sex probably isn’t possible, but you could set yourselves the task to feel each other up in every gallery you visit. (However, respect local customs – if outdoor sex and nudity is frowned on, don’t do it!)
5:Learn the language. If you get it on with a local, it’s courteous to at least know, in their native tongue, how to tell them you like them, how to ask them what you can do to please, how to give them directions on how to please you. If you’ve brought your beloved with you, then it’s useful to at least know how to find your local wine store, your local florist, your local condom shop.
6: Exploit the fact that holidays mean you can turn the clock upside down. You may usually miss his morning erection because of having to go to work – but be able to take advantage of it plus a long late lie in. In sunnier climes, follow the locals’ lead and take a siests, with the ‘do not disturb sign’ on the door. Make love on the (secluded) balcony while watching the dawn, the sunset and marking every hour in between.
7: Sorry, here’s another health warning. Too much bonking (particularly with lots of alcohol on top) can give her cystitis and ruin her holiday completely. So vary the type of sex you have, and water down your booze intake with lots of bottled water.
8; With a partner you’ve met on holiday, take things slowly and revel in the fact that unlike most newly met couples, you’ve got several whole days where you can spend 24/7 to get to know each other. So explore… trace each other’s bodies with fingertips, lips, breasts and penis – or anything you’ve collected during the day, such as that lovely shell, that tropical flower or the (well washed) feather from the exotic bird.
9: With a long-term partner, here’s your chance to try new things out. Pack a good sex manual. (Would I recommend my own books? Of course I would – The Romantic Lover and The Adventurous Lover are both tiny enough to pop in your handluggage and are published by Mitchell Beazley, £7.99 each.) Pop postit notes on the things you’ve always wanted to experiment with and do them one a day.
10: Finally, to keep you going when you get home, don’t be shy of making memories. No, vids of you swinging from the chandeliers probably aren’t a good idea if you’ve only just met and don’t know whether your new partner is trustworthy – but even then you can write a diary! And if you’re with your beloved, don’t hold back from snapping those pics to bring back the glow when you’re back in Hammersmith, Hampstead or the Holloway Road.
To visit the Sex Tips Archive – CLICK HERE
After midnight I was joined in the studio by Kate Monro, author of The Virginity Project blog. She has spent the best part of the last 5 years collecting people’s stories about the time they first stepped into the sexual arena.
Very few of us go from birth to death without ever having some sort of sexual experience so losing your virginity is one of those rare experiences that is almost completely universal. Despite that, people’s stories range from the sublime to the ridiculous, often hilarious, sometimes traumatic and disturbing, always fascinating. We heard some of your incredible stories and both Kate & I revealed ours.
My own involved a night in a basement flat in Bristol with a girl (which may shock some people!) who was very special to me. It was something we’d planned for weeks and the anticipation was as equally exquisite as it was agonising. Circumstance at the age of 16 prevented us from ‘going for it’ any earlier! It was a trip to visit my sister at University that afforded us the chance to make the leap together. As I recall it was a relatively successful night! I also managed to fulfil a promise I’d made with my best mate. We had bought 2 black condoms and sworn to each other that we would individually use them on our ‘first time’… Bizarre but true, but that was not the end of it! To find out what happened next, you’ll need to listen again to the show – CLICK HERE
I’m away next week but Susan will be here as usual, Friday night at 10pm. Do join her then if you can.
Jim
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