It's just not cricket

The situation in Afghanistan is not getting much better. This week a member of their police, who are being trained by Our Boys turned out to be a Taliban insurgent and shot five British soldiers at their own check point while they took tea. The press and politicians were appalled at this, seeming to imply that it was a breakdown in etiquette, which is odd as it is exactly the sort of thing you do in combat against people you see as an invading force. It’s called war.


They’re not playing cricket and the game doesn’t come with its own rule book of fair play. The only way to avoid this sort of thing in war is by not going to war in the first place. But Gordon Brown was clear, we are there to avoid terrorist attacks on the streets of Britain, which also seems odd as the terrorist attacks on our streets have so far come from Leeds, not Afghanistan. So, by that logic, we should send an occupying force to Yorkshire.


The stated aim is to bring a British style of democracy to the Middle Eastern country which many have said can never be achieved. But great strides have been made to that end. Their President appears not to have been elected legally, the government is a by word for corruption, Afghani officials have enriched themselves at the expense of the ordinary citizens, there is an out of control drug problem and their economy is a basket case. That sounds like a convincing approximation of British democracy to me. All they’d need to do is flood their streets with traffic wardens, nail a camera to every lamp post and ban all fun on health and safety grounds and it’d be like looking in the mirror.