Britain keeps asking why birth rates are falling. Parents already know the answer

Who will pay for an ageing population? What will happen to the workforce? Why are people no longer having children?

I always find it strange how often this question is asked as if the answer is not already blatantly obvious.

In 2025, births in England and Wales fell to 585,396, the lowest number since 1977. This is more than 100,000 fewer babies than ten years ago. The fertility rate has also reached its lowest level since records began in 1938.

My husband and I made a conscious decision to have children, and we are deeply grateful for our sons. That does not mean the practical challenges have been easy to navigate.

In an ideal world, we would have loved to have had our sons closer together. When we looked at the cost of having two children in nursery and preschool at the same time, the cost of moving closer to family support, and what we could manage on one salary while I was on maternity leave, the numbers just did not work. There was also the cost that is harder to put on a spreadsheet: the time, the career impact and what another pregnancy and postnatal period would take from us physically and psychologically.

This is what is often missing from the birth-rate debate. People are not only deciding whether they want children. They are asking whether they can cope with all that comes with having them.

Women now have more educational and career opportunities than previous generations. Access to contraception has also given women greater reproductive control, and this, of course, should be celebrated. The difficulty is that many workplaces still treat motherhood and ambition as though they are in competition.

I have witnessed time and time again in my career how pregnancy during medical school or as a junior doctor can still be treated as an inconvenience. There is often an unspoken rule that you should finish your exams, complete your training, become fully established and then start thinking about children. Other industries may use different languages, but the expectation is similar. Your twenties and early thirties are treated as the years when you must prove yourself, remain readily available and indispensable. Motherhood is still too often seen as a disruption, whereas fatherhood rarely carries the same professional scepticism.

Waiting until you feel secure can be sensible. However, it can also come with consequences we do not always discuss honestly enough. Unfortunately, a woman’s biological clock does not wait for the promotion, the house deposit or your savings to be in order before it starts ticking.

Having children costs. According to the Child Poverty Action Group, raising a child to the age of 18 now costs £250,000 for a couple and £290,000 for a lone parent. Spread across childhood, that is roughly £13,900 a year for a couple and £16,100 a year for a lone parent. Most families also know that children do not become financially independent the moment they turn 18.

Even with expanded funded hours in England, families still face nursery fees, limited places, the stress of term-time gaps and wraparound care costs. Then there is the squeezed middle: households that earn too much to qualify for financial support but not enough to feel secure, or that still end the month wondering how their bills will be paid after childcare costs are deducted.

This is where maternity leave and childcare become part of the same calculation.

Returning to work is often described as a choice, but for many mothers, it can feel like being forced to choose which loss you can tolerate. Return earlier than you wanted, and you may still be healing, feeding, adjusting and running on broken sleep. Stay home longer, and the financial pressure can become unbearable. Reduce your hours, and your career progression suffers, as you are less visible. Keep working full-time, and nursery fees may swallow so much of your salary that you wonder what you are working for.

Maternity leave exposes the gap between what society claims to value and what it is prepared to support. Society often emphasises the importance of bonding, breastfeeding and early development, while statutory maternity pay quickly drops to a level that bears little resemblance to the cost of living.

Family support has changed, too. The rising retirement age means that grandparents are more likely to still be working, be looking after older relatives themselves, or to be struggling to manage their own health and finances.

None of this means we regret having our children. It means we are being honest about the sacrifice it takes to have them, and we are prioritising our own health and wellbeing too.

The UK cannot keep asking why birth rates are falling while making family life so difficult to sustain. Childcare, parental leave, fertility care, flexible work arrangements, house prices, postnatal recovery and retirement age are not separate issues. They are all part of the same question: what is the UK doing to make it possible for people to have families and the quality of life they hope for?

We are not having fewer children because we have forgotten the value of family. It is because we understand exactly how much having a family costs.

____________________

Dr Julie Hammond is a GP for the NHS and author of ‘The Fourth Trimester: The Best Friend’s Guide to Your Postpartum Body and Mind’

LBC Opinion provides a platform for diverse opinions on current affairs and matters of public interest.

The views expressed are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official LBC position.

To contact us email opinion@lbc.co.uk