My mum died when I was a teenager - here's how I cope with grief at Christmas
Grief does not need to stop you from celebrating Christmas, writes singer-songwriter Daniel Molyneaux
At Christmastime, it may seem that everyone is excited to gift presents to their loved ones, gather round the table for Christmas dinner and carry out the family traditions which have never changed.
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But in a period filled with festivities and memories, Christmas Day can be daunting for those who have lost someone, and the magic no longer feels the same as it once did.
As someone who lost their mum to breast cancer at Christmas time when I was 15 years old, I know first-hand how bleak this time can feel. The traditions, magic and joy don’t quite feel the same.
But there is no doubt at this time of year, there is an intensification of feelings of loss due to triggers like music, cards and reduced services.
Another year rolls round and, to many, things are much the same – the same songs, the same films, the same food. But to you, everything feels different.
However, grief does not need to stop you from celebrating Christmas. In fact, if you have lost someone, there are a few things to remember to help you get through. I began channelling my emotions into music and now support bereaved young people with music workshops. But you should also surround yourself with your loved ones who are present in your life. Christmas is a time for unity and love. By spending time with those who have experienced the same loss, you will feel connected and can celebrate the time in a new way.
If you are not connected with other loved ones or can’t see them during this time, remember the love you shared with the person who has passed. This mutual love has not ended, and it has not died.
The memories are not wiped out just because somebody is no longer here. Remember that you are not alone, and you would be celebrating together if they could.
Surround yourself with love. And if you are struggling, remember that these days will pass, and a New Year is just around the corner.
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Daniel Molyneaux is a singer-songwriter who began channelling his emotions into his music when his mother passed away 13 years ago. He established the not-for-profit CIC, Claudette Continues, to carry on her legacy, whereby he delivers music workshops to support bereaved young people. To donate, please visit here.
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