Do manners still matter?

This is a quote that could have been written today, but was actually said around 1000 B.C. So, you may say that nothing has changed. The older generation still feels the younger have no social skills, and often lack even the basic norms of behaviour.

So, what is the truth behind today’s general etiquette and lack of manners - is it all the fault of the young, or is society in general lost?

There is certainly much to complain about. A personal favourite is people putting their feet on the opposite seats on buses and/or trains. However, many refrain from vocal discipline and instead pass off a snide look.

Another one that seems to have become more prevalent recently is when someone is sharing an anecdote, and the person listening seems more intent on interrupting and trying to one-up the story. Before, the story would be told, and others would listen, and then ask questions regarding the story discussed.

Everyone can come up with their own gripes about modern society. On a surface level, it also appears no one wants to give up their seat on public transport for anyone more deserving. However, I have found the opposite to be true, as I see it quite often on the underground, and it fills me with optimism that there are still many good folk out there.

What is the point of etiquette and manners?

The answer is very simple – it’s about considering other people first and making them feel good about themselves, to better society. Of course, manners vary across different cultures and have evolved over the years: we are not wedded to the same social pressures as our grandparents. We do not have to consider ‘wearing our Sunday best’ to go to the theatre or church. However, how we act and behave shows the world who we are as a person and as my mother used to say, “always put your best foot forward”.

Looking to the future, I am confident we will once again learn the art of basic etiquette and manners. This can be largely down to the influence of social media, with a recent surge in viral videos discussing the dos and don’ts of everyday life. It’s a very positive sign and opens up conversations on what is considered socially acceptable. Anonymous people will offer praise or scold on the platforms, arguing their points and offering ridicule.

It would also be great to increase the wonderful promos you see about children being taught social skills to help them navigate the pitfalls that await them, almost as a reminder of how to treat people and yourself respectfully.

Who knows, it may be the next generation who are teaching us and shaking their heads in disbelief at how our generation behaves.

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Julius Smith is a former Royal butler with more than thirty years’ experience serving some of the most important people in the world, including over twenty Heads of State and Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II numerous times.

LBC Opinion provides a platform for diverse opinions on current affairs and matters of public interest.

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