Family life is a fundamental human right; Denying it to refugees punishes those who have already suffered

The Government’s new restrictions on refugee family reunion will be devastating for them. For many, the hope of one day seeing their partner or children again is what keeps them going.

In my therapy room, I see the impact of separation every day. Survivors feel guilty about having reached safety themselves, terrified for the loved ones they left behind and unable to focus on their own recovery. It’s hard to heal from trauma when your children are still in danger in your home country. Until families are together and safe, there is no space to begin the difficult process of rebuilding your life.

These changes will hit parents hardest. I have worked with mothers who arrived in the UK with only one child, forced - because of the danger and cost inherent in the journey - to leave their other children behind. These desperate decisions – who to bring, who to risk leaving – are impossible for any parent. The guilt and grief can haunt the family for years.

Behind the label of ‘refugee’, these are ordinary people like you and me: teachers, shopkeepers, parents – for whom family is a sustaining force, a source of love and support and meaning in life. To deny people reunion with their loved ones is to strip away their hope for an ordinary, ‘normal’ life.

Family reunion offers a ray of hope to many survivors. Hope that they will be able to face hardships together, to rebuild their lives, and to be active and essential members of our communities. The asylum process already keeps families separated for years. These new rules will mean waiting even longer – or not being able to bring them at all. Those that fail to meet any new conditions on income or English language ability may never see their family again. There is nothing to be gained from this cruelty except more pain for families who’ve already been through so much. This choice by the Government is indefensible.

During Covid, we all experienced the pain of being kept apart from loved ones. That was only for a few months but even then, many of us grieved the absence of family members at major life events: births, deaths, and marriages. Now imagine years of separation, made worse by the fear that your family is still in danger.

Who do we want to be as a country, as a society? The pandemic taught us to hold our families close and to show empathy and solidarity with those who could not do so. Family reunion applies only to people who have been accepted as refugees. Why would we want to make it even harder for this group of people, who have well-founded claims of persecution, to be with their families again?

Family life is recognised as a fundamental human right. Denying it to refugees punishes those who have already suffered so much and diminishes us. The new restrictions will not deter new arrivals or ‘smash the gangs’, it will simply cause more misery for people whose claims for safety have been accepted as legitimate.

If the Home Secretary is serious about preserving the UK’s role as a place of sanctuary for refugees, then the solution is simple: improve asylum decision-making and you will cut the delays; restore refugee family reunion rights and you will build strong communities. Survivors of torture - just like you or me - need their loved ones beside them, so that they can thrive.

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Shaheen Syedain is a Family and Systemic Psychotherapist who works at Freedom from Torture in Glasgow, helping families heal from the trauma of torture.

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