Charmless Gemma Collins videos won't fix Labour’s youth problem

A private-schooler who confessed her G-grade in GCSE Maths was an early sign she was “going to be famous”? Too easy. We could list other tongue-in-cheek departmental matches: Del Boy for Business and Trade, Big John for the NHS. I’m sure Twitter is all over it.

In case you missed it: Labour invited Gemma Collins (of TOWIE and Celebrity Big Brother fame) to film some videos at the Department for Education this week. It was pure SEO fluff, and people are rightly annoyed.

“I love Richard the Third,” Collins tells Phillipson in one video, as post-production adds an emoji crown to her head. She then tells Phillipson she loves her office, and wishes she’d tried harder in school because the Education Secretary is so smart and has such a chic sofa.

It’s crass, it’s infantilising - but I can see what they were going for. A formerly disengaged celebrity discovers the joys of vocation. Solid message, solid algorithmic strategy - but you need a big splashy policy to avoid backlash to that sort of 21st-century attention-seeking. The problem is, the policy wasn’t splashy, and it doesn’t really move the needle for struggling young people.

Collins was effectively dragged out to endorse an “overhaul” to post-16 qualifications: most significantly, the introduction of V-levels, which theoretically gives sixth form students an alternative path from university through learning a trade. But V-Levels don’t really work against the backdrop of our notoriously sparse apprenticeship network, or high youth unemployment rates - and they certainly don’t do anything for the young people stuck paying eye-watering interest on their student loans.

These limp policies, communicated with crass digital media, are why young people have abandoned Labour in droves for the Greens and Reform. And why wouldn’t they? These juggernaut parties are stuck in campaign mode and can make big statements without having earned the mandate to follow through on them. They also both benefit from digitally savvy leaders, who know how to wield social media for attention.

But Labour shouldn’t be copying the smaller parties’ homework on this - and it’s a poor excuse from Phillipson to justify the videos purely through Collins’ huge social reach.

Labour has graduated from campaign mode into governing mode, and they have the means to connect with the young via policy and public purse - they shouldn’t have to rely on cheap online slop.

Ultimately, this is just another symptom of Labour’s disconnect from the people they purport to represent, and their unwillingness to take big policy risks to secure our lasting loyalty. Yes, Labour have chucked a few billion at schools for now, but there’s been little action against the deep productivity crisis facing young people when they leave education.

And yes, in electoral terms, the youth vote is about as reliable as Boris Johnson promising to pick you up from the airport - but that’s not a reason to avoid spending political capital on them. Excluding the young from impactful policy is going to fuel already massive disengagement - and youth disengagement is an exponential problem for our political system.

So, my homework for Labour this week: if you’re going to rely on meme slop to spread the good word, I want to see it backed up with meaningful policy. I want to see a video of Gemma Collins on a sofa with Bridget Phillipson, shouting, “these student loan interest rates are making me claustrophobic, Darren”. Send her to see Steve Reed - I’m sure they would bond over housing targets!

But, please. No more emoji crowns. Politics is a serious business.

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Rose Morelli is a producer and journalist for LBC.

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