Men need more support after divorce

I commissioned this survey because I see this reality every week, sitting across from men who are going through immense emotional challenges while presenting a perfectly composed face to the world.

We talk about divorce as though it is a legal and logistical event. And while that is a big part of it, for many men, it is the collapse of an entire imagined life. The home. The family. The version of themselves they expected to grow into. The grief that follows is rarely named for what it is, and it almost never gets the support it deserves.

The numbers tell a story. More than half of the men surveyed reported being negatively impacted following divorce. Forty-three percent admitted to being afraid to date again. Eighty-five percent had wanted a long-term relationship before the age of 30. These men were ready to commit fully to a relationship and divorce was never part of their plan.

What strikes me most is what happens in the aftermath. These men go back to work on Monday. They tell people they are fine. And underneath that, with each day that passes, the emotional pain continues to grow, and new coping mechanisms have to be found to deal with it. There is no framework, no real conversation, no space where they are allowed to be anything other than functional. So, they carry it alone.

That isolation has consequences that go far beyond emotional discomfort. A man without a genuine connection loses his sense of direction. He stops investing in himself. He stops believing the next chapter is worth investing his time and hope into. I have sat across from men who had everything on paper and felt completely hollow inside. That is what unaddressed isolation does over time.

And yet the cultural assumption persists that men either cope just fine on their own or secretly relish the freedom. The survey challenges that directly. Only 30 percent of respondents do not view marriage as a priority. The rest do. These are men who valued what they had and are now left navigating a world that offers them very little in the way of genuine support.

The pain is compounded by the dating landscape. Fifty-eight percent of those surveyed believe dating apps are harming modern relationships. For a man in his forties or fifties, re-entering that world after years of partnership, it can feel completely alien.

Divorce is complex, and the reasons are varied. What matters is that a significant number of men are emerging from it without the resources or support to recover properly and build a new life in which they feel genuinely fulfilled.

More men are turning to AI companionship because it offers comfort without risk, rejection, or vulnerability. But it’s ultimately a bandage for loneliness, not the deeper connection and growth that real relationships require. The men who reach out to me have usually spent a long time holding everything together on their own. That decision to finally ask for support, to do something about it, takes real courage. We need a culture that meets that courage with something more than silence.

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Lorin Krenn is an internationally recognised relationship coach, author, hypnotherapist, and podcast host, specialising in masculine and feminine dynamics.

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