It’s simple, Prime Minister: tell them to jog on

That’s quite the notice period.

From day one of this government, their sole focus has been getting elected again. They forgot to think about the bit in between: governing the country.

We should have seen it coming with their ‘Ming vase’ election strategy: Say and stand for nothing, and we’ll win by default.

Because the public wanted just one thing at the last election: Please not the Tories again.

But what Labour is about to deliver now is the Tory special: regicide.

And their obsession with poll ratings has led them to copy another hallmark of recent Conservative governments. To quote Keir Starmer in opposition a few years ago: “When the government has notched up 12 U-turns, the only conclusion is serial incompetence.”

You don’t need to look at poll ratings to know that U-turning on every policy before it’s properly enacted isn’t popular - no matter how much ‘charisma’ or ‘authenticity’ you have.

All we want is five years of stability… but newspaper columnists and Twitter obsessives have convinced you to form a circular firing squad.

An adviser to a cabinet minister actually texted me the other day asking me to delete an ‘unfair’ tweet.

What are you doing! Go and run the country!

Nigel Farage was right when he accused them of living in a ‘bubble’. But they didn’t take any notice because Nigel Farage said it.

The obsession with what Westminster is saying is causing such prevarication that they’ve spent two years taking one step forward and one step back. And then sort of stumbling on the backward step, so you look like an idiot as well.

The fact is, you’ve been elected for five years. Give us five years. Then we get to decide again.

Stop taking the temperature. Stop running it up the flagpole. Just give us five years of Labour, and then we’ll decide again. And if we go with a different party, then that’s the right decision. If we stick with you, then that’s the right decision.

Labour have a borderline patronising attitude towards the public at the moment. They’re so sure that Reform will be a disaster, they believe it’s their duty to ‘save us’ from them. But if the public decides to elect them, that is objectively the right decision. Or do you only like democracy when you win?

So I say to the cabinet and the egotists angling for improved positions in the pecking order: Grow up. Enough with your secret leadership websites. Enough of your anonymous briefings (why did they all agree to use the phrase ‘he’s toast?). Just deliver.

And to the Prime Minister: Yesterday, you promised not to inflict more ‘Tory chaos’ on us. Do not make this your 15th U-turn.

Oh no! Some ministerial assistant nobody has ever heard of has resigned! Better start writing your letter to the King…

You’ve been elected for five years with the biggest majority in modern British history. Sir Keir, tell your turncoat MPs to do one.

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James Perkins is Head of Social Media at LBC.

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