Prime Minister's Questions isn't funny, isn't clever and nobody is laughing, writes Andrew Marr
When I was a small boy and getting a bit above myself - it did happen - my mother would fix me with a stern look and say: "It isn't clever. It isn't funny. And nobody is laughing."
Listen to this article
Well, I feel the same way these days about Prime Minister's Questions.
Today was the last session of the year at Westminster and, if your taste is for panto with no costumes, a charisma free cast and jokes from the place where cut-price crackers go to die, you'd have loved it.
To be fair there was one half decent joke, from Keir Starmer of all people, who suggested to Reform MPs that the next time they were approached by men from the east bearing gifts, they might consider reporting the matter to the police.
Other than that, what did we learn?
Pointed analysis from the Tories about Labour breaking its promises on tax and open suggestions from the opposition that Keir Starmer will not be prime minister by this time next year.
And I think this is a good moment to try to throw forward to what politics may bring us next - including a challenge to the prime minister from inside his own party.
I've spent time talking to people on all sides, pollsters and politicians, and here is roughly where I think we've got to.
It's possible, even probable, that 2026 will bring us some better news on the economy and money in our pockets...
Inflation is down again today by more than expected.
Number 10 thinks we will soon notice more police, more breakfast clubs, money off energy bills, more for the poorest families, the freeze on rail fares and more.
But the bleak truth for the PM is that the pollsters think he has fallen so far there's no way back.
There are alternatives - Andy Burnham in Greater Manchester beats Nigel Farage as a popular leader and easily outperforms Starmer. But is there a way back to the Commons for him?
Wes Streeting's tough and eloquent; If labour could change leaders with a snap of the fingers and without a contest, it probably would. But it can't, and a long drawn-out leadership fight could be catastrophic.
The next weeks and months are going to be a lengthy game of chicken.
Something needs to change. But right now everyone's a bit stuck. Which means, in turn, that we are a bit stuck.
As mum would have put it, it isn't funny, it isn't clever and nobody is laughing...
______________-
Andrew Marr is an author, journalist and presenter for LBC.
LBC Opinion provides a platform for diverse opinions on current affairs and matters of public interest.
The views expressed are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official LBC position.
To contact us email opinion@lbc.co.uk