Young people are the loneliest at Christmas, and it’s time we actually showed up for them

Now it’s young people who need the call-up.

Research confirms that young people are experiencing high rates of loneliness, often at higher levels than older age groups. This is never truer than at Christmas, when the emphasis on togetherness and online images of idealised festive cheer can counter-intuitively make people feel even more isolated.

In 2025, a survey found that 72% of 16 to 25-year-olds said loneliness negatively impacts their mental health, much higher than any other age group. Another large review found that loneliness peaks between ages 18 and 29, with one in three young adults reporting frequent loneliness. The Duke of Sussex has also spoken about the loneliness many young people experience. He described how young people could feel isolated if “lost and separated from a group.”

Social media clearly has a lot to answer for. Young people see images of others supposedly enjoying perfect holidays online, which naturally makes it seem as if their own celebrations don’t match up. Those who have grown up with social media have fewer real-life interactions and can suffer from bullying and adverse experiences online.

The legacy of Covid and the advent of widespread working from home haven’t helped. When researching my own book on adolescent mental health recently, one mother told me that her teenager had become so shy during Covid that she would send her to the shop with a written list to hand over to the shopkeeper in case she was struck mute with nerves.

What then can we do? The psychiatrist Dr Jamie Arkell from London’s Nightingale Hospital tells me he now asks his young patients to measure exactly how many hours a day they are online, how that makes them feel, and how they might reduce their screen time over the festive season. Some psychiatrists are beginning to give ‘disconnection prescriptions.’

We are better off focusing on the ‘pull’ of what we might call soul-time at this spiritual time of year, and on activities that connect with others, rather than the ‘push’ of less scroll time. What we focus on expands: we are what we pay attention to, as our brains constantly rewire and create new neural pathways. So we do well to focus on the good stuff.

I'm referring to the timeless benefits of offline living and in-person activities, especially volunteering. Numerous studies confirm that acts of kindness cheer us up, benefit society, and help heal some of the damage caused by isolation at this time of year. Focus outwards, not inwards. Helping others can help us in turn.

Seek out chances to get outside, play sport, and spend time in public spaces designed to invite connection: benches facing each other, communal talk tables, free chess boards and community walls for public expression and local event promotion.

There are already ‘Happy to chat benches’ which feature a sign saying ‘Sit here if you don’t mind someone stopping to say hello’ popping up in Newcastle. Many bookshops now serve as digital detox zones, offering cafés, events, and open-mic nights.

And there is one upside to our digital age. There is support online for young people from charities including SANE, The Mix, Mind and the Samaritans. As for us? Consider supporting a mental health charity taking part in Big Give’s Christmas Challenge, now the UK’s biggest fundraiser. Anything you can donate will be doubled by Big Give. And at Christmas, invite someone young over in addition to your elderly neighbour.

Rachel Kelly is an ambassador for Big Give which is running its Christmas Challenge campaign. Donations to SANE and other charities taking part between December 2 and 9 will be doubled at biggive.org

Rachel’s latest book The Gift of Teenagers: Connect More, Worry Less was published by Hachette in May.

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