We need men like Prince Harry to be deemed 'real men' rather than the likes of Andrew Tate
10 January 2023, 13:50
This weekend we discussed Andrew Tate on my show. It was one of those conversations that is tough but necessary.
For the uninitiated, Tate is at the time of writing under arrest in Romania for alleged human trafficking and is the subject of several accusations of rape and sexual assault.
In now-deleted videos, he has advised his followers on how to manipulate women into doing sex work, promoted domestic violence and claimed women should ‘bear some responsibility’ if they are victims of sexual violence.
In some schools, Tate is now part of the personal health and social curriculum, so concerned are educators about the impact his content is having on the attitudes and behaviour of boys and young men.
Experts have identified his output as similar to that of terrorist groups and cult leaders. Some of his content is not unreasonable. That is what Tate hooks his followers in with – what looks like relatively benign self-help and relationship advice. Once they embrace him as a role model, the toxic misogyny (as well as the requests for cash) begin.
Tate has not received the universal condemnation he would have if he were a terrorist sympathiser, gang or cult leader, however.
In a long piece in the Daily Mail this weekend, he was labelled ‘complex’ with a ‘surprising background’. The article goes on to describe Tate as ‘arguably both the most loathed and yet, paradoxically, the most popular man on the internet, thanks to his unique brand of misogyny’.
To be clear, there is nothing ‘unique’ about saying women are inherently inferior to men, belong at home servicing the needs of men and that those who disagree should be silenced with violence. That is just run-of-the-mill, would-be-boring-if-it-wasn’t-so-dangerous, common-or-garden misogyny.
That Tate is apparently being held up as some kind of visionary genius for having achieved notoriety and wealth through these ideas when that’s been happening in one form or another for centuries is downright derisory.
What I found interesting was the number of young men who called my show to assert that there is ‘no one else showing us how to be a man’.
Which brings me to Prince Harry. The same paper that ran the aforementioned piece on Tate devoted no less than seventeen pages in a single issue last week in an attempt to tear apart Harry’s forthcoming autobiography ‘Spare’.
In fact, across the media commentators have been invited to speak about how ‘self-indulgent’ and ‘self-pitying’ Harry is for speaking in public about his mental health, the therapy he has had, his family history and trauma.
One part of the book that garnered a lot of attention concerned a reported incident in which his brother, the Prince of Wales, punched him to the ground and his consternation when Harry wouldn’t fight back.
‘All brothers have fisticuffs’ seemed to be the collective response as though violence is a perfectly acceptable and healthy way for adults for work through their issues ‘behind closed doors’. I hope I don’t need to explain how problematic this notion is.
It is obviously not true that Tate is the only male role model on the internet. In fact, I could cite numerous examples of accounts showing how to exist fruitfully as a man in modern society. But these are men who, like Prince Harry, have introspected – They’ve looked at some of the outdated and toxic ideas they have absorbed from their upbringing and our culture and modified their outlook accordingly.
Until these men are universally deemed to be ‘real men’ – Until their strength and intelligence is not only acknowledged but considered aspirational – raising well-adjusted boys will always be an uphill struggle.
