"I was ready to die": caller wrote will, left messages for daughters during isolation

11 April 2020, 10:52

Survivor tells how he accepted death, wrote will and messages to daughters

By Seán Hickey

This caller told Iain Dale how he came to accept his death as his coronavirus worsened, writing his will and messages to his daughters.

Cliff called two weeks ago just two hours after his mother passed away sharing his story of how he had to self-isolate in his mother's house because he was with her before she died.

Having recovered from the virus, Cliff called Iain Dale to share his NHS experience, telling the public that he was sent home because he didn't need a ventilator.

"They will do anything they can to not admit you into hospital" Cliff said. He commended the work of the NHS and understood that considering the conditions of other people, he didn't need to be admitted to hospital.

Cliff understood that this was a time of great strain on the NHS and although he didn't need to be admitted to hospital, he wondered if other people that had been turned away had survived.

"Unfortunately we're hearing many stories of people passing away at home" Cliff stated, including his late mother. He wondered if the policy of sending people home is effective in the long run.

Cliff said he was turned away from hospital as he didn't need a ventilator
Cliff said he was turned away from hospital as he didn't need a ventilator. Picture: PA

Iain wanted to know if there was a point where Cliff felt as though his life was in danger. The Hodeston native told Iain that there was points in his time with the virus where he was convinced he wouldn't wake up the next day.

Cliff told Iain that he was visited in the garden by his daughters and he could see them through his front windows. He said although he missed them and feared infecting them, he "really didn't want them to catch it".

"That must have been as bad as the virus" Iain quizzed. Cliff revealed that he was so prepared for death that he decided that the best thing he could do was to write his will and leave messages on his phone for his daughters to see after his death.

He admitted that he it was a low point in the disease but confessed that when he wrote his will he entered a phase of acceptance and was ready to die by coronavirus.

Cliff told Iain that the turning point for him was around the time he called LBC and could feel his breathing improving. Once he felt his breath getting better he started to think "there's someone out there worse off than me" and for him, this was a sign that he had turned the corner.