Donald Trump has a big one, just not THAT big

14 May 2017, 01:09 | Updated: 14 May 2017, 01:13

Donald trump has been embellishing the truth.

I know that is about as newsworthy as the sun rising in the East.

The best spin on his behaviour might be that he has lied so often and for so long that he does not realise he is doing it any more.

Rich from an early age from the money his daddy gave him, he has never had to endure hearing the word "No", and no-one around him has ever questioned his version of events, so he has just become used to believing whatever words spill over his luminous white teeth and past his orange, puckered lips.

Mostly he lies about the size of things. He lies about the number of people at his inauguration, the enormity of his achievements, the popularity of his presidency and the length of his ties suggest the reason why.

You don't need to consult Dr Freud to figure that one out.

He also lies about how many floors his buildings have.

Donald Trump boasted that he lives in splendid gold entombment in a penthouse on the 66th to 68th floors of Trump Tower.

The one small problem with that claim is that people with time on their hands have counted the floors of said tower and come up ten floors short.

There are only 58 floors in Trump Tower. Apparently, he does this a lot. Trump exaggerates the number of floors in his buildings because it makes him feel important and also, he can get more rent for units on higher numbered floors.

That is just the sort of huckster we want in charge of the free world. What could possibly go wrong?

The lies don't stop with the numbers in the lifts.

During the Obama Presidency, Trump gave Forbes a tour of his Manhattan penthouse.

Forbes described this as another episode in "a decade-long crusade for a higher spot on our billionaire rankings".

During the tour, Trump said that his flat was 33,000 square feet, which is about 33 times the size of a new-build 3 bedroom house in Britain.

Unfortunately for Donald Trump, journalists are in the habit of checking facts and the scribes at Forbes discovered that Trump's apartment is less than half the size he said it was.

They discovered that Trump first acquired a triplex apartment in the newly opened tower with his name on the front in 1983. It covered 6,096-square-feet.

You would think that would be big enough, but not for Donny's ego it wasn't, so he bought two neighbouring units and merged them into one giant apartment measuring about 14,000 square feet.

Journalists could look this up because of pesky plans that are kept on file in the city of New York.

A flat of 14,000 sq ft is pretty big, but it is not 33,000 sq ft.

Trump probably saw on the news that someone famous had the grandest penthouse in New York, so he just added a bit to their figure and settled on 33,000 sq ft, to make his the biggest.

Trump also claimed to have leased a flat on the 66th floor of the building to Michael Jackson, who he told Forbes he knew "better than anybody".

He called it a "little section" that he leased to the star, presumably to underline how huge his apartment was in comparison with the one occupied by the planet's biggest star.

The same plans on file in the city showed that the door Trump had motioned to had never been a residence at all, and appeared to be a space occupied by machinery.

But as the current President of the United States would say, it's the best mechanical space in the world...it's a tremendous mechanical space...yuuuge.