L'addition s'il vous plait

2 September 2017, 21:01 | Updated: 2 September 2017, 21:05


Britain's Brexit chief, David Davis, declared himself determinedly optimistic about Brexit.

He said that as his opposite number in Brussels, Michel Barnier, announced he was steadfastly despondent about the same thing.

David Davis declared that the UK is committed to being outward looking and playing an 'instrumental role' in the world.

He might be referring to our insistence on keeping our nuclear weapons, which if used, could have an instrumental role in ending the world as we know it.

He's hopped off to America to address the US Chamber of Commerce.

Presumably he couldn't just send them an email.

He had to get on a plane with all his entourage, sit in first class no doubt, stay in the finest establishments known to man, at vast expense to us the taxpayer, to remind America that we still exist.

There's good value for money – at least we don't waste cash like they do in the EU.

He skipped out of the country after the third round of Brexit talks ended in deadlock because of the divorce bill.

The EU is insisting Britain agrees to pay the bill before they can move on to trade talks.

They have been saying that since March.

The British position has been to put its fingers in its ears and say we're not listening.

The Europeans are standing tough and the British are standing tough and they're all posturing for the cameras and it all seems like such a lot of pretence.

We'll pay the bill, we'll carry on accepting their rules and regulations and we'll keep having those immigrants coming in because without them we're sunk.

We will do that because, despite the tough-guy approach, we really do need to keep trading with Europe as we do now.

The banking racket will up-sticks and swan off if we don't, because they will lose some money if they don't retain their ability to defraud people across borders without impediment.

Banks hate losing money and as our economy has become dependent on them, what they want is what they will get.

It all seems rather pointless.

All this pain and suffering just so the people that believed what they read on the side of a bus can glory in “getting their country back”, whatever that means.

In a speech in Washington, David Davis said Britain is determined to carry on playing a strong international role.

After all, where would all those dictators and despots hide the money they stole from their people and buy the weapons to keep them in check if we turned our back on them?

That's what we do for a living. It's too late to learn some new skills now. We might as well stick to what we're good at.

The International Trade Secretary Liam Fox said Brussels must not be allowed to blackmail Britain by demanding the Brexit divorce bill is settled before trade talks can start.

That word “blackmail” is harsh. It would be appropriate if it were commonly used in a restaurant to refer to the amount that you have to pay before you are allowed to leave.

You don't ask the waiter for the extortion, you ask for the bill.

Michel Barnier revealed details of some of the projects that bill would help to cover.

It includes money for foreign aid, green projects and refugee programmes.

We don’t want to pay for things like that.

The Prime Minister, Theresa May, is another of those politicians that proclaim she is guided by her faith.

Apparently, we are refusing help our European friends save the planet and give succour to the poor because that is what Jesus would do.