The doctor will embarass you now
5 May 2018, 21:02 | Updated: 5 May 2018, 21:09
In the run-up to the election in November 2016, Donald Trump's personal physician released a letter that stated the presidential candidate would be the healthiest person to ever be elected to the presidency, totally healthy, no one ever saw such health, he's the most healthy of anyone, ever.
Turns out that Donald Trump dictated that letter. Can you believe that? Of course you can.
His name is Dr. Harold Bornstein, and I recommend that you look up a picture of the good doctor on the internet.
If you are feeling depressed, it will cure you immediately. He looks like the man that would get sent over if central casting called for someone that looks like a Doc Brown from Back to the Future, but kookier.
In August 2016 he told NBC that he picked up Trump's kind of language and interpreted it on his own to write something that would please him.
He asserted that, “his health is excellent, especially his mental health.” Then he laughed.
Now he has changed his story to admit that he didn't write any of it at all and that his client dictated the letter to him, presumably to differentiate himself to Hilary Clinton, who Trump described as not physically up to the task of the top job.
Like almost everyone that has had contact with the president, Dr Bornstein is no longer in Trump's employ, so presumably feels unencumbered in speaking to the press.
The president's ex-physician said his actions took the truth and moved it in a different direction.
Like an alternative fact.
Bornstein recalled rehearsing the letter with Trump while in the car with his wife in December 2015.
The letter stated: 'If elected, Mr. Trump, I can state unequivocally, will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency.'
He later said 'I like that sentence to be quite honest with you, and all the rest of them are either sick or dead.'
It said that Trump was in 'excellent physical health', that his blood pressure and cholesterol measurements were healthy, as were his EKG, echocardiogram, chest X-ray and blood sugar.
He wrote that Trump weighed 236 pounds and stood six-foot-three inches tall.
He is actually both heavier and shorter than that but if either measurement had been reported accurately, Trump would have been classed as 'obese' and not merely 'overweight', so the figures were massaged.
It failed to mention the cholesterol medication Trump was on and the pills he was taking for Rosacea and hair loss.
Those facts the doctor kept to himself, until recently, after which he says Trump's goons raided his office and took his patient's files away.
I can't imagine which medical problem Trump wanted to keep quiet about – yes I can - it was the hair wasn't it?
Have you ever seen a man put in so much effort to keep secret the fact that over vast swathes of his scalp, he's as bald as a billiard ball?
After Bornstein revealed the extent of Trump's medical regimen, he says Trump's bodyguard led a 'raid' on his office, after which the doctor claims he felt 'raped, frightened and sad'.
Trump keeps picking fights with all the wrong people.
When he was pretending to be a top businessman, he could get away with it, because he’d just shout and threaten and sue, but when you are President of the United States of America, it's probably best not to pick fights with your doctor, who knows you inside and out…literally.
Or, come to think of it, pick a fight with the FBI and the CIA, who together must have a file on Donald Trump as long as he is wide.
He’s not that smart
That's another thing the doctor left out of his letter.