'Visiting my dying father in a care home was described to me as a favour'

4 May 2021, 16:06

Caller tells Shelagh Fogarty of her 'battle' to see her dying dad

By Tim Dodd

This is the moment a caller told LBC of her "battle" with a care home to see her father shortly before his death.

The conversation comes as care home residents can now leave to go for a walk without having to self-isolate for 14 days when they return.

Karen in Wareham began by explaining that her father went into care with "slight dementia", but that it got "progressively worse".

She then described having to "battle with the care home" on the morning that he died to allow both her and her daughter to see him at the same time as he was now at 'end of life'. 

"We got there and we went into his room, there were no staff members around, they were all downstairs in a meeting, and probably within four minutes of getting there and sitting either side of his bed he passed away", Karen told Shelagh. 

"And he'd been just lying there on his own?", Shelagh asked. 

Karen replied: "He would've been lying there on his own, absolutely."

READ MORE: 'My grandmother has to self-isolate in a care home for two weeks for visiting the dentist'

Caller criticises 'absolutely wicked' visiting rules at care homes

"After having that awful battle to allow both of us to go in there, and having to really stand my ground and say you've told us 'this is it', and having to jump through all those hoops, and then eventually when the care home manager turned up she went 'stay as long as you like, it's not a problem.'

"And I thought that's ridiculous - I wanted to be here with my dad when he was conscious and alive, not when he was passed away."

When Shelagh asked "why did they fight you so much when they knew it was end of life?", Karen says she was told "it was more than her job was worth" and "I'll do you a favour sort of thing - that was the whole attitude."

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