Shelagh Fogarty 1pm - 4pm
'We haven't been allowed to grieve': Caller opens up about losing her mother
23 March 2021, 14:54
This caller lost both her wonderful mother and best friend during lockdown - she opens up about the difficulty of not being allowed to grieve properly because of restrictions.
Jackie tragically lost her mother Pat two days before the first lockdown started - however her nursing home had locked down the week before that and by the time Jackie was allowed in, her mother had died.
"Unfortunately we got there half an hour too late so she died on her own," she told Shelagh.
Jackie said she will never know whether Pat died of Covid or a chest infection because she was not allowed to go to the hospital.
If it had been just a chest infection and she had gone to hospital, it could have been treated with antibiotics, Jackie pointed out, telling Shelagh her mother's death is "constantly in her mind."
They could also only have four people at the funeral due to the unfortunate time her mother died in relation to Covid measures.
"We had to sit in four separate corners of the chapel and we had to all leave separately and go home," Jackie said, "we weren't only crying about Mum dying... the whole situation was so awful."
Simultaneously, Jackie also lost her lifelong best friend to cancer during lockdown shortly after her mum.
Her friend was the sort of person she could talk to all day long, and go to her with any problem, a friend which Shelagh branded "a second skin friend."
Jackie said that those who lost people during lockdown have not been able to grieve properly, as everyone is separated and cannot gather to celebrate the life of those passed.
"I haven't even picked up Mum's ashes," Jackie said.
She told Shelagh she has a new version of her life to build as the people she cared for and gave up her job for are now gone.