Donald Trump In Space
21 November 2016, 13:55
In 2012, Donald Trump tweeted that the concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make US manufacturing non-competitive.
It is the sort of thing you see a lot on the internet, alongside videos of pussycats, pictures of people's dinner and insults about women.
He was saying that global warming is a hoax and he was right, in the same way that he was right that Mexico will pay for a wall, or that President Hillary Clinton would have let 650m people into the US in one week, or that orange is a good colour for a man's make-up.
Maybe it is the thick foundation powder he coats his face with that has been seeping into his brain that makes him say such things.
A United Nations event in Marrakesh drew leaders and senior politicians from 200 countries to debate and try to solve climate change, which is a pressing issue for the future of humankind.
At the same time, Trump appointed a climate change denier called Myron Ebell to his team at the Environment Protection Agency, which after January will be turned into an Esso station.
Fifty-five nations signed up to the Paris Agreement that set ambitious goals to cap global warming. It took decades to get that done and along comes a man who wakes up at three in the morning to engage in Twitter spats with former Miss Worlds to tear it all up.
The Chinese Vice Foreign Minister, Mr Liu said "We shall have to wait and see what position they will take, but we... expect that they will take a right and smart decision to live up to the world's expectations."
And we thought the same about the American electorate, that they would make a right and smart decision, and look what happened.
By the way - we have enough data this year to call 2016 the hottest year ever recorded.
The previous hottest year was last year and the hottest one previous to that was the year before.
People will say: oh that's just normal weather fluctuations, and that could be true if the planet had not been warming in a steady curve upwards since 1975.
Of the world's scientists, 97% are agreed that global warming is a thing, and that it is us that's doing it.
You would be hard pressed to get 97% of scientists to agree on much of anything at all.
If you asked scientists whether Sofía Vergara or Brad Pitt were hot or not, you would expect at least 10% of them to say all that fabulous pulchritudity left them cold.
You couldn't get 97% of scientists to agree that corduroy should have died out in the seventies.
The Chinese had to explain to the next president of the United States of America that climate change is an actual thing and that Ronald Reagan and George Bush Senior supported discussions of global warming in the 1980's.
Hard to believe that for Democrats and liberal thinkers, the Reagan and Bush eras might henceforth be known as the good old days.
That was when the Republicans were actually open to dialogue with people that weren't themselves. That stopped when the American voters made a black man President.
Donald Trump is putting the white back into the Whitehouse. He has also said he will slash spending on climate change studies in favour of sending Man back to the Moon.
Apparently, it has enormous potential for gentrification and looks an ideal spot for a Trump hotel. He is looking for backers now. Be the first to sign up and you get a free hat.
Climate change is one of the most important issues threatening our way of life and the shortly to be most powerful of us is willing to ignore it, in favour of the short term profitability of the oil and gas industry, and the glorification of attaching his name to a giant phallic rocket to the stars.
Despite the warnings from 97% of the experts on earth, it is the other 3% that are the ones that Donald Trump is listening to, and they probably think that climate change is caused by gay weddings.