Father pays tribute to ‘daddy’s girl’ after daughter, 16, took own life after 'hyper-fixation' on first school detention
29 April 2024, 15:58 | Updated: 29 April 2024, 16:26
A father has paid tribute to his talented 16-year-old daughter after who took her own life in the grounds of a prestigious boarding school after becoming "hyper-fixated" on her first ever detention, an inquest has heard.
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Caitlyn Scott-Lee was found dead on the premises of Wycombe Abbey School in Buckinghamshire on April 21, 2023, the day before she was due to carry out the detention.
Now, her father has paid tribute to the "daddy's girl" on the first day of the inquest into her death.
Caitlyn had been given a two-hour "headmistress's detention" after vodka and a tattoo kit were found in her music locker at the girl's school just before the Easter break.
The pupil, who attended the £44,000 a year school, was diagnosed with autism the previous year and was said to be upset at the prospect and it preyed on her mind for weeks before the tragedy.
Mr Scott-Lee told the inquest: "Caitlyn was so much more than autism, Wycombe Abbey, and detention."
On the first day of the inquest, Mr Scott-Lee, 42, said: "I took care of her, dressed her, cuddled her, fed her, and soothed her.
"As she grew as a toddler, there would be bitter-sweet moments where she would stand by the window of our home and cry as I left for my daily commute.
"Little did she know I would return each evening."
Mr Scott-Lee, a senior banker based in Malaysia, said he was “happy to support the legal process” in the name of transparency.
However, he added that he was not lobbying for any changes and did not blame the school following his daughter's death.
“Regardless of what people say or do not say, nothing will bring Caitlyn back. I’m happy to get it done but I’ve no desire for nationwide change — for me it’s a formal process to go through," he said.
Her father subsequently told The Times that some people could not accept that he was “actually fine with the school and the NHS”.
He added: “I can’t understand why people think a grieving parent might be angry with the school."
In her final diary entry, on April 20, she wrote: "I hope this is my last diary entry. I want to kill myself tomorrow."
The court heard how her autism diagnosis would have 'amplified' Caitlyn's emotions surrounding the punishment.
She was so upset about the detention she ran away from a choral event she was due to sing at in March, and wrote in the diary: "Running away was the best cry out for help I could give and you [Wycombe] responded with 'we'd normally punish you but you’re already getting punished'."
Her devastated father, Jonathan Scott-Lee, told The Sunday Times: "She was mortified to receive a detention.
"To some of us, it is a badge of honour, sitting in a room for two hours to work. But Caitlyn seemed hyper-fixated on the concept of a detention, and it seems she was determined to do anything she could to avoid it."
He added: "She even spoke to her housemistress and asked for an upgrade to a suspension, despite the fact that it was a more severe punishment."
The 41-year-old wants to raise awareness about neurodiverse children, and called for schools to focus on care for their pupils as much as their academic progress.
He has previously written about neurodiversity for his bank, having also been diagnosed with ADHD.
He said while help is available at the "extremes of the spectrum", people who appear "too normal" may not get the assistance they need.
The HSBC executive said autistic people like himself and Caitlyn often think of the world in "binary terms", finding it hard to "differentiate between two extremes".
He did not, however, believe Wycombe Abbey, a school that often sends its alumni to Oxford and Cambridge, was pressuring its girls with exam success.
"It is too juvenile to merely proclaim that Wycombe Abbey is a pressured academic institution. It is amongst the elite of British public-school institutions," he said.
"It is equally simplistic to parrot the term 'mental health'.
"Instead, Caitlyn's name can be better honoured through effecting change to ensure that our government and prime minister prioritise funding to raise awareness and provide the specialist support and training for staff that is needed for neurodiverse children to thrive at school."
Caitlyn had a passion for theatre and musicals, and adored photography.
Some of her photos are being posted to a blog set up by her family in her memory.
She enjoyed nature and would often watch the ducks on the lake in the school grounds. Mr Scott-Lee wondered if it could be named after her as a tribute.
Mr Scott-Lee said she loved her young sisters and in her diary she thanked her classmates and wished them luck.
In a statement, Wycombe Abbey said: "Everyone at Wycombe Abbey has been left deeply shocked by Caitlyn's death.
"She was a highly valued member of our school community, a bright and talented young woman with enormous promise. She will be hugely missed by all of us."
Those feeling distressed or suicidal can call Samaritans for help on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org in the UK. In the US, call the Samaritans branch in your area or 1 (800) 273-TALK
