'I didn't dare shed a tear': Sangita Myska caller feared 'ridicule' after his wife suffered a miscarriage

22 July 2023, 21:05

'I didn't dare shed a single tear': This caller provides the male perspective of a miscarriage

By Grace Parsons

As reform of miscarriage care in England is underway, this caller, whose wife suffered a miscarriage, reveals how he hid his suffering out of fear of being 'ridiculed'.

As the government pledges to implement key recommendations made by the independent Pregnancy Loss Review, this caller, Neil in Oxford, revealed to Sangita Myska that he was scared of being "ridiculed" if he showed any emotion after his wife had a miscarriage one year ago.

With an estimated one in five women affected by miscarriages in the UK, the move will provide specialist care for those who have suffered.

Additionally, women who lose babies during pregnancy will be able to get a certificate as an official recognition of their loss as well as better collection and storage of remains under new government plans.

After sharing her own experience earlier on in the show, Sangita voiced her concerns over the logistics of the new scheme.

She said: "I'm not being completely convinced the NHS has the resources to ensure that women are kept safe."

This follows on from her revealing that she was "left completely to cope on her own".

READ MORE: Soaring numbers of patients pay for vital operations as record NHS waiting lists keep rising

The government pledges to provide specialist care for those who have suffered miscarriages, Sangita Myska shares her story

Neil shared his story with Sangita: "I'm just watching her and I could see her break down, I could see what she's going through, she's sharing with me and I'm feeling that pain.

"Not for a second did I dare to shed a single tear in front of my wife because she's going through so much already, how could I give her more stress that I'm hurting as well."

Neil continued to say : "I'll do anything to make sure that I could do reduce her pain, her suffering but I can't really share that with her. The conversation's are surrounding my wife and I want her to be supported but no one ever really look at what the guy is going through.

"Not only am I suffering the loss of a potential child of my own, the one that was going the help expand my world, I'm also looking at the suffering of my wife and my own suffering and I can't explain that feeling.

"I feel like I can't really share that with anybody without being ridiculed," the caller concluded.

READ MORE: Senior doctors start 48 hours of strikes as NHS care to cut down to Christmas Day-style emergency cover