'I'm so bored of Boris Johnson I could scream': Andrew Marr slams 'selfish narcissist' former PM in explosive poem

12 June 2023, 18:18 | Updated: 12 June 2023, 18:28

Andrew Marr slams 'selfish narcissist' former PM in explosive poem

Kieran Kelly

By Kieran Kelly

Andrew Marr has said "I am so bored of Boris Johnson I could scream" in a dramatic poem in which he describes the former prime minister as a "selfish narcissist".

Speaking on LBC's Tonight with Andrew Marr, the presenter analysed how Mr Johnson continues to maintain his ability to dominate the headlines - despite Nicola Sturgeon being arrested and the death of ex-Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi.

It comes after Mr Johnson officially resigned as an MP on Monday afternoon, with the former PM accusing his successor Rishi Sunak of talking 'rubbish' in a row over peerages.

In his explosive and eclectic poem, Andrew started...

I'm so bored of Boris Johnson I could scream

It's hot. I'm like a boiling kettle - ejecting steam

I'm just so bored of Boris Johnson and his life

I know more about him than I do about my wife

The glory years of japes and pranks at Eton

The never giving up or knowing when he's beaten

The web of Oxford chums - Dave and George and Gove -

The trysts with trusting girls in flats, hotels and groves

The lies he told to them, then the lying to the Times

Long before the fatal porkies over party lockdown crimes

The shrugging off of misbehaviour with a laugh

The "cripes, I'll make it up" reporting for the Telegraph

And words like cripes and chums and japes and pranks

And yikes and Bozza - enough, no more, no thanks

All that gobbling up of airtime and paper by the ream

As we've all been jailed inside one man's mad dream

Oh..I'm so bored of Boris Johnson I could scream

Boris Johnson formally resigned as an MP on Monday afternoon
Boris Johnson formally resigned as an MP on Monday afternoon. Picture: Getty

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Andrew continued...

I'm so bored of Boris Johnson I could spew

Even the successes; for yes, there were of those a few

Genial, liberal Boris in the years at London's City Hall

Election winner against Ken and Corbyn, never short of gall

Very fast to take the credit, eg Borisbikes, eg Crossrail -

He always wanted monuments, they wanted that to fail -

He sliced through state bureaucracy that was Byzantine

At least I s'pose they've called it the Elizabeth, not the Johnson line.

Then his return to Parliament, prepared to oil and suck

Up to Tory leaders. I'm so bored of Johnson I could chuck

He always wanted to be lovable like Paddington or Gromit

A cuddly national symbol. I'm so bored that I could vomit

He picks a thing up, caresses it, then wrecks it

By "thing" I'm thinking obviously of Britain, and of Brexit

Of whoppers, fibs and fraudulence and guile

And for his enemies, threats and menaces and bile

At birth the angels gave him the gift of tongues

A glittering tree on which all life's prizes hung

They gave him great intelligence and sex appeal

Strength of a grizzly bear, eyes of a baby seal

But then, they said, we've given too lavish a gift-list

To baby Boris so you'll be, as well, a selfish narcissist

And everything will turn to dust. Bad, then badder

Will be your choices; the high call of politics a ladder

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Andrew finished his poem...

No more than that - to clamber up. So nothing mattered

Not voters conned, nor a once-great party shattered

He wanted greatness. But yes, it's vanished like a dream

Sometimes I'm so bored of Boris Johnson I could scream

Former Tory Party leader hopes his colleagues 'put this Johnson psychodrama behind them'

Mr Sunak, in outspoken remarks made earlier on Monday, said he was not prepared to overrule the House of Lords Appointments Commission (Holac), or make promises to allies of Mr Johnson about them becoming peers.

He said he had been asked by Mr Johnson “to do something that I wasn’t prepared to do.”

Read More: Laurence Fox to run for MP in Boris Johnson's former constituency

He said he refused because he “didn’t think it was right.”

But Mr Johnson hit back today, telling LBC: “Rishi Sunak is talking rubbish. To honour these peerages it was not necessary to overrule Holac - but simply to ask them to renew their vetting, which was a mere formality.”