Blond bombshell bides his time

24 June 2017, 20:56 | Updated: 24 June 2017, 21:01


It is a rule learned from the television programme Yes Minister that something in politics is only true when it is officially denied.

Boris Johnson has ruled out challenging Theresa May for the leadership.

He has officially denied that he has any ambition in that matter.

Specifically, Bozo of the FO said that he would not challenge Mrs M for the post until Brexit is delivered.

The negotiations will probably be so fraught that it will cause the PM's hair to fall out, and Boris is too fond of his artfully distressed mop to risk it.

After Brexit has sucked the life out of the Prime Minister and reduced her to a grey husk, Boris will step heavily over her carcass and accede to the position he has always sought: Ruler of the Universe.

He will have to share it with the other clown with silly hair who currently resides in the Whitehouse and whichever of his golf courses he wants to advertise at the American people's expense.

The Foreign Secretary has been hotly tipped to take the top job since David Cameron peed in the political pool by ordering a referendum and sauntered off to spend more time perusing the Boden catalogue.

In fact, Boris has hotly tipped himself to take Number 10 since he was in shorts. He had the exact same hairstyle then as now, and the ambition is also unchanged.

He is tipped to squeeze his size twelves into Mother Theresa's strappy, leopard-print sling-backs as soon as she takes them off.

Sensibly, he has ruled himself out of a challenge for the leadership until the Brexit has stopped hitting the fan.

Publicly, he insists that Mrs M has no immediate fear of his attack because the public wants 'calm and stability'.

I think he means 'strength and stability'.

Maybe he didn't get the memo. Everybody else did, as we know from their endless repetition.

He was asked by Channel 4 News if he was ruling out standing for the leadership until Brexit was delivered in 2019, he said: 'Yes, we have got to get on and deliver on the priorities of the people.'

Well, the priorities of the people seem to be changing on an hourly basis.

A YouGov poll for the Times revealed that 'The People' do not want Mrs M as their PM any longer.

More of them want Jeremy Corbyn to be the leader of the nation than want the current PM to stay in her role.

This is an amazing turnaround, considering that just a few weeks ago, the vast majority thought that Jeremy Corbyn would be only be good for laying on the floor by the kitchen door as a draught excluder.

In other news, rather than the hard Brexit that Mrs M is pushing for, 58% said that they want free trade over closed borders.

Is that one of the 'priorities of the people' that Boris is talking of delivering?

Perhaps the mop-topped minister is not quite ready to steer the nation.

Asked on the radio about the social ills that Theresa May insists she wants to tackle, and what action the government intends to take, our chief diplomat said, 'There are measures I believe in the bill on the courts which I think is supposed to address some of those issues and I think one thing in particular we are looking at is, um, measures to…hang on a second...' (a loud rustling of papers)... 'There are all sorts of measures that we want to take to ensure that we do not discriminate against everybody and, urr, I think you'll find that the Prime Minister has been strong on that ...'

That makes as much sense as a man who wears the same hairstyle at fifty as he did at five.