‘There are no words to make this easier’: Lucy Letby wrote card to parents of baby she is accused of murdering
2 May 2023, 23:34
Lucy Letby sent a card to the parents of a baby she is accused of murdering, telling them that "there are no words to make this any easier".
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The neonatal nurse's card to the parents, in which she apologised for not being "there to say goodbye", was shown to Manchester Crown Court on Tuesday.
The court also heard how officers discovered four notes in her bedroom, including a declaration of love for a doctor she worked with, names of some of the babies she is accused of murdering as well as comments like "help me" and "kill me".
Letby, 33, who is accused of murdering seven babies and attempting to kill ten others, began giving evidence for the first time on Tuesday.
The prosecution says Letby was a "constant malevolent presence" in their care at the neonatal unit of the Countess of Chester Hospital.
It is said she used various means to target the infants, including injections of air into their system and insulin poisoning.
Letby broke down in tears while giving evidence in court for the first time on Tuesday, saying "her whole world stopped" when she was arrested.
Describing the first time she was arrested, she got emotional, saying: "There was a loud knocking at the door at six o'clock in the morning. My father was staying with me at that point. He was staying there too."
She said she was told she was being arrested on suspicion of the murder and attempted murder of multiple babies, and was taken to the police station in her pyjamas.
Ben Meyers KC asked Letby how hard she found it to cope with the situation she is in.
She said it was "very difficult", adding: "Everything about me and about my life, and the hopes I had for the future, everything is just gone."
She said: "My job was my life. My whole world was stopped."
When asked how many babies she cared for at the Countess of Chester hospital, Letby explained: "Probably hundreds."
"Did you ever do anything that was meant to hurt any of them?" asked Mr Meyers.
"No, I only did my best to care for them."
Letby added that she never wanted to hurt any baby she looked after, saying it is "completely against everything that being a nurse is... I'm there to help and to care".
Mr Myers asked: "How did the personal impact feel when a baby died?"
Letby replied: "It was very upsetting, you don't forget things like that. They stay with you."
Mr Meyers also took Letby through some handwritten notes found at her home after her arrest.
She said writing her thoughts down was something she had done all her life.
Asked to explain why she had written 'Not good enough' at the top of one note, Letby said: "That's the overwhelming feeling I had about myself at that point, because the way people had made me feel. I thought I had been incompetent or done something wrong.
"It's just me processing thoughts."
The nurse denies all the offences said to have taken place at the neonatal unit of the hospital.
