'Please help me': Lucy Letby's handwritten notes shown to jurors during nurse's trial released

18 April 2023, 20:58 | Updated: 19 April 2023, 08:34

Photos of handwritten notes found at the home of a nurse accused of murdering seven babies, which jurors heard contained phrases such as "I killed them on purpose", and "I am evil" have been released.
Photos of handwritten notes found at the home of a nurse accused of murdering seven babies, which jurors heard contained phrases such as "I killed them on purpose", and "I am evil" have been released. Picture: Alamy / Cheshire Constabulary

By Chris Samuel

Photos of handwritten notes found at the home of a nurse accused of murdering seven babies, which jurors heard contained phrases such as "I killed them on purpose" and "I am evil" have been released.

Ms Letby, 33, denies the murders of seven babies and the attempted murders of 10 others at the Countess of Chester Hospital's neo-natal unit between June 2015 and June 2016.

She was first detained by police in a dawn arrest in July 3, 2018 at her three-bedroom home in Westbourne Road, Chester - two years after last shift at the Countess of Chester Hospital's neonatal unit.

Handwritten notes which consist of closely written words and sentences which filled pages, and doodlings, were among the items found at her house when she was initially arrested.

The images were shown on Monday during her trial at Manchester Crown Court, and have since been released.

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Though some of the writings appeared incoherent, two phrases were used repeatedly, "Please help me" and "I can't do it any more", the court was told.

The notes consist of closely written words which filled pages, sentences and doodlings
The notes consist of closely written words and sentences which filled pages, and doodlings. Picture: Cheshire Constabulary

One sentence read: "I want someone to help me but they can't so what's the point in asking. Hate my life."

While another read: "No one will ever understand or appreciate what it's like".

The phrases, "Please help me" and "I can&squot;t do it any more", appear repeatedly in the notes, the court was told.
The phrases, "Please help me" and "I can't do it any more", appear repeatedly in the notes, the court was told. Picture: Cheshire Constabulary

Other phrases included: "No-one will ever know what happened and why I am a failure", and "I don't think I can ever go back too much has happened/changed", with "killing me softly" featured at least twice in the notes submitted to the court.

They also contained a declaration of love for a doctor colleague who, for legal reasons, cannot be identified.

Nurse Lucy Letby
Nurse Lucy Letby. Picture: Alamy
The handwritten notes were recovered by police when Ms Letby was first arrested on July 3, 2018.
The handwritten notes were recovered by police when Ms Letby was first arrested on July 3, 2018. Picture: Cheshire Constabulary

Next to his name was written: "I loved you" and "my best friend".

On Monday, Ms Letby cried in court as photos of a crime scene in her bedroom were also shown.

Nurse Lucy Letby's bedroom contains a picture with the slogan: 'Dream is a Wish your Heart makes'
Nurse Lucy Letby's bedroom contains a picture with the slogan: 'Dream is a Wish your Heart makes'. Picture: PA

Photos showed her messy bedroom, with number of jackets hung over the bed rails, and a teddy bear stuffed underneath her duvet.

The nurse also had pictures on the wall with slogans such as "Shine Like A Diamond" and "Leave Sparkles Wherever You Go".

The trial continues.